Days can pass, when it’s forgotten.
those days you believe it’s mastered.
You chant, and quote and build
That steely resolve of your mind.
“I shall not!”
Those days you are the conqueror, riding the white stallion.
Lofting your mighty sword, victory abounds.
The crowd around you roar and cheer
Nothing can defeat you, you are the mighty king.
“I shall not!”
But deep inside it hasn’t lost, it never was defeated.
Deep, deep, deep inside, nipping at your mind.
While you celebrate it peeks from behind the gallant smiles.
It knows when you are the weakest, it knows how thin your resolve.
“I shall not!”
You sense it, know it’s there.
You know where you left it, where it hides.
First the thought. The first thought. That first thought.
Me gods, It cannot be forgotten.
“I Shall Not!”
You bring out all the armour. You know how to win this game.
The thought proceeds without remorse. It’s seed already planted.
You turn your thoughts to others. You distract and busy away.
Still it comes unwanted. Chipping away by stealth.
“I SHall Not”!!
Your skin begins to crawl. Your nose can sense and smell.
How can it reach out from its hidden spot?
What magic tears your soul.
You taste it on your tongue, that memory will not fade.
“I SHALL not!”
It’s sweetness calls your name.
It’s language rings your bell.
You know you can’t and shouldn’t, you know you must prevail.
Your hand begins to quiver.
“I SHALL Not!!!”
No one will be the wiser. No one will know I did.
You frenetically distract yourself, seeking calmness where none abides.
Your breath begins to shorten, palms a clammy gone.
The inner battle is nearly over. You never really won.
“I SHALL NOT”!
You slink your way to the spot, when no one knows your there.
You battle with your soul, letting lies be told.
The thought that had just started, now a torrent in your mind.
A thin veneer between you, you wish you could be gone.
“i shall not?”
It’s taste inside your body, sets tingles everywhere.
The memories unravelled, you grin from ear to ear.
Who cares what they be thinking
Its with you now, who cares.
God Damn you Tim Tams!
(for the non-Australians in the room, Tim Tams)
